


True To The Title

by Thefandomnerdling



Series: Red Dwarf One Shots [1]
Category: Red Dwarf (UK TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Car Sex, Grinding, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Red Dwarf - Freeform, Semi-Public Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 08:28:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30052710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thefandomnerdling/pseuds/Thefandomnerdling
Summary: After 3 million years the mail pod finally arrives on The Red Dwarf. As Lister is digging around in the mail, Rimmer and him find a VR game known for being better then life, aptly named Better Then Life. Lister, Rimmer, and Cat decide to test it out. As they play Rimmer finds an unexpected feature.
Relationships: Dave Lister & Arnold Rimmer, Dave Lister/Arnold Rimmer
Series: Red Dwarf One Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2210838
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	True To The Title

**Author's Note:**

> I might make this a small fic, few chapters long, but it’ll probably stay as a one shot. Also love all you OG’s who are still sticking in the Red Dwarf fandom even if it ended so long ago.

### Game Of The Year

"Alright Holly, hook me in." Rimmer said as he put a helmet similar to one for a bicycle on his head. His vision went black for a moment before a wooden door appeared. Bright light showed itself through the cracks in the door. 

Rimmer blinked rapidly for a moment when the man at the head of the group opened the door. The three stepped out from the door and onto a beach. 

After getting an autograph from a personal hero of his, bickering with Lister and The Cat then said two flipping him off and riding away on a motorcycle Lister had materialized with his mind, and being stuck in the middle of nowhere on a beach with freshly made dinner plans with his friends which had just ditched him, all in one nice swoop, Rimmer let out a huff. 

"Alright Arni. Let's give this a try." Rimmer said out loud to himself. He clenched his hands at his sides and focused hard on the sand. 

A shity car slowly appears out of thin air, it's all busted up with a chipping yellow paint job. 

Rimmer scolded himself,  
"Aw come on, you can do better then that." He paused and felt his face heating up with an embarrassed flush, he tugged at his collar and cleared his throat trying to lessen the feeling he was getting that told him he looked like a nutcase talking like this to no one. 

He stared at the piece of junk hatch back and visualized an expensive sports car he'd had wanted sense he was around 15. 

The hatch back slowly disappeared and transformed into a state of the arc sports car. Rimmer dusts off his lapel and smiles arrogantly,  
"Easy." He states as he walks over to the driver's side he opens the door and sits in the front seat. His face fallers slightly when he goes to put the keys in the ignition only to remember he doesn't have the keys to the car. 

As he stares at his hand in disbelief the keys materialized. 

"Wait." Rimmer drops the keys on the dashboard as he stares at his other hand. Ice cream on a stick appears slightly above his hand, he quickly grabs it out of the air before it falls. 

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed himself eating the ice cream in the side mirrors. He tried to focus on turning the car on and not the image his brain remind him of, a particularly interesting dream he had the other night after hanging out with Lister. 

They had been getting along strangely well, watching a movie the ships computer Holly, had recommended. It was all fine until Lister stuck his arm through Rimmer's leg to get his drink off the table from where they were sitting on the couch. 

Rimmer being dead and a hologram, found it rude that he'd did that, and protested about it. Lister insisted it was an accident and he didn't mean to. This lead into an argument and the movie being paused. The argument involved a lot of Lister breathing down Rimmers neck and sticking his hand through him. If Rimmer had actual neck hair it would've been standing on end from the proximity. 

It wasn't his fault he had such a dream, he wasn't used to being so close to other people, Lister putting his hands threw Rimmer probably hadn't helped anything either, plus it had been awhile sense he enjoyed his own company. So, that night he had an exciting dream involving Lister. The following morning Rimmer couldn't look at the bloke for long with out thinking about it, for once he was happy he was a hologram, because if he wasn't he'd probably had to've changed his sheets. 

Hands froze in place and ice cream was forgotten as the dream came flooding back to Rimmer. He covered his beet red face with his left hand, momentarily forgetting about the keys. His whole body stiffened as a voice spoke from the passenger seat,  
"How's it going smeghead?" Lister said, resting his head on his hand, his elbow was digging into the dashboard. 

_Oh no._ Rimmer's brain repeated. His hand quickly dropped from his face and he awkwardly tried to fix his brown hair that was messed up from his hand griping it. 

Lister raised an eyebrow at the action, as he looked Rimmer up and down. Subconsciously Rimmer puffed out his chest.  
"What are you doing here, didn't you drive off with the Cat?" Rimmer questioned, not noticing his ice cream melting down the side of his hand. Lister reached out and pulled that hand closer and Rimmer watched him confusion all over his face. 

"I did. Well, er, the real Lister did, I'm the copy you thought up." Lister said. Both of his hands turned Rimmer's hand so the melted ice cream was facing him more then Rimmer. Slowly the Lister copy licked the ice cream off of Rimmer's hand. Rimmer stared and babbled gibberish as Lister continued softly licking the ice cream away, leaving lines of saliva in his wake. 

"How, how can you touch me?" Rimmer stammered, his free hand roughly gripping the side of the drivers seat. In between licks the copy answered,  
"You're just playing as a sprite, it was copied from what you really look like. So technically you're not a hologram right now. So I can do this." He took the ice cream from Rimmer's hand and licked his palm free from the rest of the ice cream. 

Rimmer's breath came out in broken sounding breaths.  
"Ugh, look at the mess this smegging thing is making." Lister complained. He made eye contact from the side of his eye and licked a striped up the side of the ice cream trying to catch the melting bits. "Normally I wouldn't mind it." He continued flatting his tongue and licked the sides, wrapping his tongue around as much of it as possible. "But it's getting my hand all sticky." To prove his point he stretched his fingers and they stuck to each other for a moment before peeling off. 

A wet wipe appeared in Rimmer's hand and he passed it to Lister, he mouthed 'in a moment' before turning back to the ice cream. He parted his lips and took in the rest of it that was still there, Rimmer heard his own breath hitch. A zing shot down his middle stopping at his crotch, which was slowly making his pants into a tent. 

Agonizingly slow Lister pulled the ice cream off the stick and finished it off. He licked his lips clean and all Rimmer could do was stare memorized. Lister dropped the stick onto the floor and it rolled under the seat somewhere, but before Rimmer could complain Lister wiped his hands clean with the wet wipe, which also now lay on the floor, and started kissing up Rimmer's arm. He started with his hand, he kissed the palm before every finger, then his wrist and worked up his arm in a line. 

Rimmer watched biting the edge of his lip. Lister paused at Rimmer's inner elbow. He scooted closer.  
"Is this okay?" Lister asked intertwining his fingers with the hand he was still holding. Rimmer nodded madly, causing Lister to let out a small snort of laughter. If asked nowadays, Rimmer would still swear up and down that in that moment he felt his heart leap into his throat and stay there. 

As if nothing ever happened the copy went back to work placing soft kisses up Rimmer's arm. He stopped again at Rimmer's collar bone, he placed kisses across the entire bone, moving to sit in Rimmer's lap to do so. Rimmer placed his hands on Lister's hips before kneading them. Lister groaned and continued working upwards, albeit up Rimmer's front instead of side now. 

He placed his lips on the nape of Rimmer's neck and just held them there for a moment. Rimmer just kept massaging his hips so Lister pressed on. He sucked a hickey into existence, he kissed it softly before moving onto a new place and making a new one. Lister nibbled at Rimmer's neck a little higher up and Rimmer gasped and groaned. Cautiously Lister kissed the same spot before biting down harder. 

Rimmer moaned and pulled down Listers hips reflexively grinding up, he moaned again as he rubbed their dicks together. Lister dug his nails into Rimmer's shoulders and let out a breathy pant at the action. With hazey eyes the two made eye contact. 

Strangely it was Rimmer who pulled Lister closer and kissed him on the lips making a move, it was uncoordinated and clunky as well as not lasting very long. Lister held the sides of Rimmer's face and pulled him back in for another. They pulled back for a second to breathe before clashing back together. 

Hungrily they moved their lips against each other's. Rimmer flicked his tongue against Listers bottom lip. Lister let out a groan that vibrated Rimmer's lips, before he opened his mouth. In one movement Rimmer's tongue was in Lister's mouth coiling around Lister's tongue. 

As they made out Lister snaked his fingers through the curly brown locks on Rimmer's head. He accidentally pulled the others hair and Rimmer moaned as he jolted his hips up into Lister's again. 

They pulled their mouths apart a trail of saliva followed them, stretching until it broke. Lister ground down, he threw his head back and let out a deep pant. 

The sight of Lister becoming unwound sent another jolt to Rimmer's dick. He ground up into Lister and kept a steady pace. Lister started rolling his hips causing more friction. They both moaned As their heads' fell forwards. Rimmer buried his noise in the nape of Lister's neck. 

Lister picked up pace as Rimmer's movements became more sloppy. What finally sent Rimmer over the edge was Lister pulling on his hair and grinding down extra hard.  
"Lister!" He moaned, his hips spazzed as his muscles tensed and untensed. Rimmer bit the nape of Lister's neck as he came, his nails raked against Listers thighs. 

"Fuck! Rimmer!" Lister groaned and panted as he came, he thrusted into Rimmer's chest as he rode his high. Reflexively he pulled Rimmer's hair again causing his body to spazz into Lister's again. 

They kept grinding until both of their highs were done. The car was filled with panting. Rimmer unsunk his teeth from Lister's neck.  
"Smegging hell. Better Then Life indeed."


End file.
